I remember when I first met you man. Freshman year in college. You were dating that girl. What was her name? She was your high school sweetheart. You had been together since the 8th grade. God I suck with names. Lisa, yeah that's right, Lisa. You guys had been dating forever, well that is until she met me and then I started dating her. That's how we met. You remember that?
And for the first 9 months that Lisa and I dated, do you remember how we let you tag along with us on our dates to the drive-in movies? You remember that don't you? You were quiet as a church mouse in the front seat of that car while Lisa and I made out in the back. I'm sorry what was that? Oh yeah well I guess it was your car but we didn't have to let you come along. And we most certainly wouldn't have if you would have been the grumpy old pain in the ass that stands before me today. Nope, back then my nickname for you was "Cool Breeze". Nothing seemed to bother you. I liked that about you.
Oh and do you remember that time that we all went down to Tijuana and got hammered drunk? And we all swore an oath to go get a tattoo of Falkor from "The Neverending Story"? You remember that don't you? And you were so into the idea that you wanted to go first but by the time that our turn had rolled around, we had sobered up and completely chickened out. God that was hilarious. The look on your face. And the shit that you got from your old man on Parents Weekend? Wow he really dressed you down. But it all just seemed to roll off you like water off a duck's back. I'd have to imagine that if that happened today, you'd be a fucking baby about it.
Hey I was going to ask you, did you ever find your dog? No? I feel awfully bad about the whole situation but like I told you, I came over here to take him for a walk, like you asked. I went in the front door just like you asked and he just ran right past me. It was an accident. Why didn't I chase after him? Dude I was wearing flip flops, have you ever tried to run in flip flops? It's damn near impossible. Plus you look like a jack ass doing it.
So anyway, I really just came over here to say that I know we've been through a lot together, but in light of your recent attitude change, I just don't think that we should hang out anymore. Well yes I do remember that you and I have those court side seats to the game this Friday that you bought. Seems to me the only right and proper thing to do would be to let me have them. Especially after considering all that I have done for you. Besides you don't even like basketball. And I swear, this time I'll pay you back. I get paid next week. You're cool with that right?
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